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Quidkid of the Week: Michelle “Sniper” Ferguson

27 Apr

With the end of the school year upon us, we here at uOttawa Quidditch have been studying like a pack of wild Grangers. However, before the uOttawa Express takes us home for the summer, we bring you one final Quidkid of the Week article!

This week, I sat down with Michelle “Sniper” Ferguson: Fulcrum prod woman, Chaser extraordinaire, and winner of the Dobby the House Elf Memorial Award for Tiniest Badass. As one of our fourth-year players, Michelle is busy avoiding the traps we have laid to sabotage her graduation and keep her at uOttawa. Nevertheless, she took a time out to talk falcons, Fulcrum, and françaisBrooms up!

Michelle receiving her Quoscar. Eat it, Meryl Streep.

Alright, Michelle, let’s start with your program and year.

I am currently in fourth year.. meaning I graduate this summer! (#yay)

I study Lettres françaises (which is basically a fancy way to say French lit).

Excellent use of hashtags. What brought you to quidditch?

Chris. He is the ASS (Associate News Editor) at the Fulcrum. I found out he played and it piqued my interest. I am pretty sure the first thing I said to him before even introducing myself was: “You play Quidditch right? I have two questions for you: Do you play with brooms? And how the hell does the Snitch work?” After covering the Canadian Cup for the Fulcrum I really wanted to try playing. So when Chris invited a bunch of Fulcrumites to come to a practice I was all over that.

Michelle, pictured back in the grey hoodie, questions why the poaching skills of Quiddad Chris (seen here hiding behind a bale of hay) worked to get her on the team.

Quiddad Chris is a ruthless player-poacher. What position do you play?

I am a Chaser. But I think it would be cool to try some other positions. (Ed: Ahem.)

The Chasers keep Michelle well protected against the Beater Coven, who have a nasty habit of snagging all the cool players with the siren song of constant Mean Girls quotes. With a nickname like Sniper, how could we not want her as a coven member? Where did your nickname come from?

I wasn’t there when Adam and Clare came up with this but this how it was explained to me: Clare and Adam were talking about how annoying people who check their phones at the movie theater are (Ed: really annoying) because you can see their screens flash and how they wish that someone could stand at the top of the theater and snipe anyone checking their phones. I guess they thought I was the best person for the job. (Apparently I have good aim or something…)

Michelle is being modest, she has the aim of Robin Hood and Katniss Everdeen combined. She scored some pretty spectacular goals in her first tournament! What was the best moment of your quidditch career?

Scoring my first “real” goal in Buffalo. Oh, actually, being invited to play in Buffalo! I was really happy I made the roster, since I had only been playing for a couple weeks. It also helped me get to know my teammates better. And it was really cool to feel like part of the team.

Tearing up the field in her very first competition game as a uOttawa Quidkid!

And the worst?

I don’t think I’ve had any bad quiddicdotes. (Ed: QUIDDICDOTES! Quidictionarying that!) Except for maybe the headshots. I remember one in particular by a certain fatherly figure in the middle of winter… that stung a bit

Bludging at the hand of your quiddad carries both a physical and emotional sting. It really fuels the ol’ daddy issues. But, as anyone who has played against uOttawa can probably attest, our beaters do love their headshots!

Michelle, what’s your jersey number? Is there any significance to it?

I usually choose either 4 or 5, because one of those papers that analyze you based on your name told me those were my lucky numbers. But those were both taken, so I decided to go with 22: the age at which I discovered this wonderful sport! (The Muggle version, that is.)

I’ll pause for a moment so readers can sigh deeply and reminisce on their own Quidditch discoveries… How do you explain Quidditch to those in your life who were previously unaware of it?

“It’s really cooooooooool. No really, I swear.” Actually, if a quiddicdote is permitted… My parents came to watch us at Strathcona last month and although my dad has read almost all the books and seen almost all the movies he would always poke fun at me for playing Quidditch. But after the tournament my mom told me he wouldn’t shut up about it, and that he said he wished he was 20 years younger so he could play too.

Glamour shot of the jersey

Which Hogwarts house are you?

I should probably do the test one more time to be sure, but I am a Ravenclaw.

Looks like we’ve got another House Hipster on our hands. Chris is such a terrible influence. If you had a magical creature as a pet, what would it be and what would you name it?

A hippogriff named… I don’t know…Spot? Wait, no. Andy.

What would your patronus be?

My patronus would be a peregrine falcon. It’s my favourite animal.

She’s flying through your windows, snatching your quaffle up…

I distinctly remember a player on the team being petrified of birds. Use that to your advantage. Speaking of, if you encountered a Boggart, what would it be and what would your ‘riddikulus’ thought be?

A bee. I hate bees. And my thought would be: “Bread and butter, bread and butter, bread and butter…”

If you could choose a Harry Potter character to be your significant other, who would it be and what would your ideal date with them consist of?

I would date Harry and we would play Quidditch.

Michelle Ferguson joins the elite ranks of uOttawa Quidditch Players who Wouldn’t Date a Weasley. Which Harry Potter character are you most similar to?

I am a Gemini so I have two personalities… at least that is my excuse to not narrow it down to just one character. I believe I am a mix between Ginny and Hermione. I am very quiet with people I don’t know, but I can also be pretty bossy. Someone also told me I’m bright!

Despite being one of the few members of the team who wouldn’t date a Weasley twin, Michelle is no stranger to having two men chase after her.

What would a bright girl such as yourself major in at Hogwarts?

I would like to believe I would be good at Flying or Care of Magical Creatures.

Where would you spend the majority of your time if you lived at Hogwarts?

I would probably spend an equal time between Hagrid’s hut, the Gryffindor common room (even though I am a Ravenclaw) and the Quidditch pitch.

While you’re on the pitch you could visit Reilly’s Chezbrelephaffe common room! Now, since you’re one of the team’s Real Live Grown-Ups™, what are you most going to miss about Quidditch next year?

Well I’m really hoping I get to still play next year, if you’ll still have me. I know I’ll be old and decrepit after graduation, but I promise to pass an eye test to make sure my aim is still top notch!

Well, we were just going to send you out on the ice floe with Claremom, but we’ll see… What is your greatest aspiration for the team?

I want us to be able to fly! I have so many theories on how this could work… It would probably be a death trap but you know.. how awesome would that be!?

Finally, what is the biggest similarity between Quidditch and working for the Fulcrum?

Haha – the people are amazing and a little nerdy (in a good way). It took me until my fourth year at university to finally find a group where I really fit in and this year I found a second. So um.. thanks for what was probably my best year of university!

Awwwwhhhhhhhh… 🙂

 

Well, folks, this ends this season’s Quidkid of the Week feature, but keep a weather eye on the internet horizon over the summer! We’ll be talking to this year’s ickle firsties about how Quidditch impacted their first year of university at uOttawa. Be sure to check it out if you or someone you know is entering first year (we’re looking at you, WEQL Griffins…). 

No regrets…
…just quove.
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