Tag Archives: clare

Quidkid of the Week: Queen Mollywobbles

3 Feb

uOttawa Quidditch Team’s Twitwitch in Training (call me “Hashtags”) reporting for duty with our new feature, Quidkid of the Week!

For our first interview, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Her Royal Highness Clare Mollywobbles Hutchinson. Clare wears many fancy hats as co-president of the team, resident twitwitch, team mom, and the crowned Queen of Canadian Quidditch. Quid-royalty live a hectic (albeit glamorous) life, but Queen Mollywobbles took the time to meet me in her impenetrable snow fortress on the Rideau Canal to talk Quidditch, fancy hats, and (of course) deep, dark secrets. Brooms up!

#394, Her Highness Queen Clare Mollywobbles Hutchinson: Co-President and co-founder, Beater, Twitwitch, and Team Mom.

Muggle preliminaries first! What program and year are you in?

English & Political Science – 4th year. Next year it’s the nursing home for me. Or they’re just gonna put me on an ice floe and float me out to sea. (Ed: a Canadian tradition for the old and infirm who have outlived their usefulness.)

And tell us, oh Elderly One, what first drew you to the idea of creating a quidditch team?

I had wanted to create a team since first year (I had a friend who went to Middlebury who used to send me links. He was a marvelous enabler) because it seemed to be thoroughly excellent, but never had the time. I still don’t have the time, but I do it anyway – Carleton published an article in our school newspaper asking for another team to play, and anyone who knows the schools’ rivalry knows we couldn’t let them have a team and not have one ourselves. I responded to the article and then we, uh, had a Quidditch team.  

What is your jersey number? Is there any significance to it?

“Turn to page 394…”

What position do you play?

I used to play a little bit of everything (whatever was missing that day, basically. Presidential duties, woot), but I have been adopted by the Beater coven.

A rare picture of a hatless Mollywobbles

The beater coven is by far the best, it’s true. Which Hogwarts house do you belong to?

Pottermore says I’m a Gryffindor, and my affinity for red and virtually all of my friends concur, but Pottermore is a lying little bitch. Everyone knows I’m a Hufflepuff 4 lyfe. #teamcuddles

Well I don’t FIND that very surprising at all. Can you give us some insight as to what inspired the nickname ‘Mollywobbles’?

No. It’s my secret question, I can’t tell you or the Death Eaters’ll get me.

Safety first. Speaking of safety, what has been the scariest moment of your quidditch career thus far?

Every time someone gets injured. Then my inner Mama Grizzly comes out to play. NOT MY PLAYER, YOU BITCH! One of our players once went down during a game clutching his eye, and before I knew whether it was bad or not I had to sprint to the EMT tent with every Team Mom’s worst nightmare doing a plié in my lung. That was funtimes.

How about the best moment?

Every time I yell “bludged!” is the best moment. Doesn’t even matter if anyone was actually bludged or if I’m in the produce aisle at the grocery store holding a canteloupe, I still get a power rush.

Our readers are all wondering… what’s with the hat?

Benepe’s hat was giving the Queen feelings of inadequacy. Which, if you are familiar with Queens, is something that is Just Not Done. Hence, red bowler hat. One must raise the bar. Also I needed something goofy to wear and found it on my dryer. But mostly the one-uppance.

Ah, yes. Now, how did it feel to be crowned as Queen of Canadian Quidditch?

Mortifying. And undeserved – everyone knows Andrea Hill of Carleton is the true Queen.

Muggle Quidditch's very own Kate and William (I am, of course, speaking only about the hats).

While we’re on the topic of mortification, as our resident Twitwitch you’ve become notorious for constantly tweeting. Ever been caught tweeting in an improper situation?

I’m sure there are pictures of most of them (I am *ALWAYS* tweeting in pictures), but I tweeted about commentating just before the Canadian Cup final and it sent a notification to Fancy Hat Man’s phone, which was running the music, so all the music for all the pitches just stopped. Muggle technology, man. So unreliable.

There was also that time I tweeted one of our university officials saying I hoped Trelawney hadn’t contributed to the new university vision – needless to say, he didn’t get the reference and thought I was defaming a teacher.

Our Twitwitch caught in the act!

Because I enjoy the topic of mortification, tell us one of your deepest, darkest secrets (or, barring that, an interesting fact about you)

Normally my interesting fact about myself is that I play Quidditch, so I’m all out. Unless you count my chemical addiction to maple syrup.

Then let’s talk Hogwarts: What would be your best subject or major?

Transfiguration, because McGoogles is Queen of my heart.

In HP6, I think we all remember Rowling’s description of Harry’s strange new feeling as akin to having a monster roaming around in his chest. Now, Clare, you named Harry’s Chestmonster Horace. If you had a Chestmonster of your very own, what would you name it?

Jasper. Harry’s is named Horace; I figure he would need a partner in crime. If you catch my meaning. ~And I think you do~  

And if you could pick an HP character to be your significant other, who would it be and what would your ideal date consist of?

Luna Lovegood. We would totally be the Hogwarts Dork Power Couple. And I have no bloody idea what we’d do, but it’d be incredibly entertaining.

What's she hiding underneath that hat?

Which HP character would you describe as your spirit animal?

Remus Lupin. Cardigans, big band music, books, and chocolate. That kind of sums it up. Also the running around crazed in forests. I have been known to do that. Upon occasion.

If you could have a magical creature as a pet, what would it be and what would you name it?

I have long been an advocate for Hippogriff-based travel as a greener alternative to automobiles and planes. I would name it Brego, and if you don’t know why then I don’t know you.

If you were going to hide bits of your soul, what would you use as horcruxes?

Random pinecones. The sunsweet berries of the earth. All the colours of the wind. Or my keys. Find THOSE, Harry Potter.

What would you do with an invisibility cloak?

Kick sheepdogs. Or fulfill my dearest dream of becoming a spy.

Would you kick this face? Clare Hutchinson would. (The uOttawa Quibbler and uOttawa Quidditch in no way endorse the kicking of dogs.)

What spell or magical gadget would you find most useful or entertaining?

Summoning charm would be the most useful. Which is probably not “thinking big” enough, but Time Turners freak me out. You don’t f*ck with time, man. Most enjoyment out of an actual flying broom, no doy. Y’all can keep your Extendable Ears.

Finally, let’s talk about your hopes for Quidditch: if you could see anyone or anything playing the sport, who or what would it be?

I would want Rick Mercer and Michael Ignatieff (or Baby Trudeau) to Seek on Parliament Hill with McGill Snitch Alan at his sparkliest. This would please your Queen very much.

One can only guess at what secrets that binder holds...

 This concludes our interview with Her Majesty Queen Clare Mollywobbles Hutchinson of Canadian Quidditch, but the fun and personal bubble invasion don’t stop here! If you have any questions for Clare, tweet them to @uo_quidditch. As part of Clare’s duties as Quidkid of the Week, she is bound by unbreakable vow to answer them.