Tag Archives: beater coven

Quidkid of the Week: Boom!

17 Feb

It’s midterm season here at uOttawa, which means procrastination is the utmost priority of this Twitwitch-in-Training. Here to aid and abet my procrastination is Beater Captain Cynthia “BOOM!” Loutfi. Cynthia made the great interprovincial trek from Gatineau, Quebec (on snowshoe, of course. This is why we hot) to sit down and discuss Hogwarts, honey badgers and Hufflepuff (this interview is brought to you by the letter H). Brooms up!

Let’s get the Muggle stuff out of the way first. What program and year are you in?

I am in my last year and last semester in general social science.

Yes… a semester that we as a team are definitely not collectively sabotaging to keep you here longer… What brought you to quidditch?

I followed the snitch. During first semester’s Clubs Week, Mommy Clare was running around in full Snitch apparel handing out flyers. (Ed: …and then she went to class in her Snitch outfit and nearly got taken out by a bunch of first-years.)

What position do you play?

Beater.  I don’t want to start a position war (Ed: she totally does want to start a position war), but beater is the most awesome position of them all!

So, Cynthia “BOOM” Loutfi, explain your nickname.

When I was 17, I felt in love with a guy.  He had a lot of fun provoking me or trying to make me feel bad about myself.  And I didn’t know what to do about it.  So I turned to magic and discovered a spell that would give me the courage to defend little 17 year old me.  The problem was, the spell came with a curse.  Every time that I would win an argument, I had to finish my sentence with: “BOOM!” Every time something amazing happens in my life: “BOOM!” Every time I get good grades: “BOOM!” I bludge someone: “BOOM!” I am the Quidkid of the week: “BOOM!” My boyfriend at the time couldn’t stand it anymore…I lost him.

I am still stuck with this curse.  But trust me, ain’t no one messing with me now.  No one. That is why my nickname is “BOOM!”: Because I can’t stop saying it. Cynthia BOOM Loutfi.


Wordcurses affect millions of people worldwide. Thank you for shining a light on such a critical issue in the Quidditch community. What has been the best moment of your Quidditch career?

After the tryout when I saw my name up on the list, saying I was in the competitive team.  BEST. DAY. EVER.  I started singing “So Much Better” from the musical Legally Blonde in my head.

How about the worst or scariest?

A week before the World Cup, I realized I didn’t have my passport.  It was a disaster!  I had to go to the World Cup.  Three days before we left, I still didn’t have it.  I got it the day before we were leaving.  That was the scariest week of my life!!!! The worst moment was at the Canadian Cup.  We were doing amazing until we played against Carleton.  They destroyed us!  I was so disappointed, because I think we didn’t give our best and that is why we lost… and Carleton is good. (Whatever.)

Hear that, Carleton? Praise! Cherish it, for it shall never happen again. (We kid, uOttawa loves its big brothers and sisters.) Now Cynthia, what is your jersey number? Is there any significance to it?

I never had a jersey in my life.  So I texted my sister asking what number I should have.  She simply answered: 163.  It seemed legit.

And Cynthia is nothing if not legit.

As one of our resident Francophones, was it confusing to learn Quidditch in your second language?

No, not at all!  The hard part is when my teammates start talking strategy, but use words from sports other than Quidditch.  Quidditch I understand, the others, not so much.

What is the most interesting/funniest difference between the French and English versions of the Harry Potter books (if anything)?

I think the weirdest difference from French to English is Severus Snape’s name.  For reasons I don’t understand, in French it’s Severus Rogue.  Don’t ask why, I don’t have the slightest idea!  In general, I find the rest of the translation is really very good. Although, I find that anything said in French sounds a tiny bit wimpy compared to English.  For example, when you say “Bludger” in English, on le dit «Cognard» en Français.  So when you say “Bludged!” in English, you say «Congardé» in French.  Which sounds to long and goddamned ridiculous when you yell it on the field!

Would you have attended Hogwarts or Beauxbatons?

Hogwarts!  I don’t care if I have to work super hard to understand the British accent, I am not going back to an all-girl school.  Girls are sneaky bitches! And mean!

Despite the Veela Hair, Cynthia is a Hogwarts Girl through and through.

What house are you?

I am a Hufflepuff!  I know that technically Hufflepuffs are regular badgers, but I like to pretend that we are Honey Badgers.  These animals are f@#$%?& badasses! They take shit from no one! And they survive EVERYTHING!  I feel like I am a Honey Badger!

Be afraid….

Photo evidence of Cynthia just taking what she wants.

Photo evidence of Cynthia just taking what she wants.

The Quibbler would like to state for the record that Cynthia does not, in fact, give a shit; and takes what she wants. Being a Hufflepuff, you are no doubt an excellent finder. How would the Room of Requirement present itself to you?

In Lebanon there are trees full of huge black berries.  The Room of Requirement would be a mysterious and beautiful garden filled with these trees, were I could climb in them and eat ALL the huge black berries!

And where would you spend the majority of your time if you lived at Hogwarts?

Everywhere! I would try my best to FIND the secret passages.  It’s a whole new world that I must discover!

If you could choose a Harry Potter character to be your significant other, who would it be and what would your ideal date with them consist of?

I don’t believe in significant others.  I can be happy with anyone!  What would probably happen is that I would fantasize about having a secret adventure with Sirius Black (not the one in the movie, but the one in my head).  Meanwhile, I would be planning evil schemes to date Fred, but probably end up with Neville.

My ideal date must be like a musical!  Every time something happens there has to be a song in the background!  And he must sing “Your Song” from Moulin Rouge to me.

Neville would be good for that; he’s quite the dancer, after all. Which Harry Potter character do you see yourself as?

None of them.  I feel I am weird enough to be my very own character in HP.  But, when I’m really old, I hope to be like Dumbledore.  Calm, wise, caring and at the same time a child at heart.

Especially the child at heart.

 Wild Boggart appears! What would it look like and what would be your ‘ridikkulus’ thought to get rid of it?

A bird.  I hate birds.  Any kind of bird.  They can fly and they are dumb.  You never know where they will fly!  One day, my cousin got a bird to the face!  True story. My “ridikkulus” would be that the bird would explode and change into this:

And she would be singing like this.

Some people turn boggarts into something silly… Cynthia turns them into other peoples’ worst nightmares just to watch them squirm. What would your best subject or major be at Hogwarts?

Divination.  I can bullshit my way to an A so easily! But I would be very excited to learn Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts-Things that would require practice and discovering spells.

Like a true Hufflepuff, always with the finding. What spell do you think would be the coolest to use?

I really want a spell that would help me learn everything without even trying.  I would think: Learn it! 2 seconds later BOOM! It’s in my brain forever.

To conclude, let’s talk about your hopes and dreams for the sport. Who or what would you most like to see playing Quidditch? (in a world where anyone and anything could)

I would love to see a DC vs. Marvel game with the Flash snitching. That would be epic! In my opinion, the positions would be like this. 


Chasers: Green Lantern, Batman, Zatanna, Green Arrow,

Keeper: Superman, Martian Manhunter

Beaters: Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Hawk Girl

Seeker: Elongated Man


Chasers: Human Torch, Wolverine, Captain America, Iron Man

Keeper: Hulk, Thing

Beaters: Storm, Invisible Girl, Spider-Man

Seeker: Mr. Fantastic

Snitch: Flash

PS: I think the Marvel Characters would CRUSH the DC ones.  Just saying. 

All Canadians are given a pair of those mittens at birth.

 Finally, for those who are unfamiliar with the hobbies of our team, we’re quite the multitalented bunch. We dance (swing, haka, and pole), we attend weekly karaoke nights, we go bouldering, etc., etc. Cynthia, if you could choose our team another hobby, what would it be?

Can we please L.A.R.P.?!  I think our team needs to pass to another level of geekiness!

For those who don’t know, Cynthia wants our team to begin Live Action Role Playing and yes, yes we can. This brings us to the end of the interview, but the fun doesn’t stop here! You can tweet @uo_quidditch all week with additional questions for Beater Captain Boom (in English or en Français).