Archive | April, 2012

Quidkid of the Week: Michelle “Sniper” Ferguson

27 Apr

With the end of the school year upon us, we here at uOttawa Quidditch have been studying like a pack of wild Grangers. However, before the uOttawa Express takes us home for the summer, we bring you one final Quidkid of the Week article!

This week, I sat down with Michelle “Sniper” Ferguson: Fulcrum prod woman, Chaser extraordinaire, and winner of the Dobby the House Elf Memorial Award for Tiniest Badass. As one of our fourth-year players, Michelle is busy avoiding the traps we have laid to sabotage her graduation and keep her at uOttawa. Nevertheless, she took a time out to talk falcons, Fulcrum, and françaisBrooms up!

Michelle receiving her Quoscar. Eat it, Meryl Streep.

Alright, Michelle, let’s start with your program and year.

I am currently in fourth year.. meaning I graduate this summer! (#yay)

I study Lettres françaises (which is basically a fancy way to say French lit).

Excellent use of hashtags. What brought you to quidditch?

Chris. He is the ASS (Associate News Editor) at the Fulcrum. I found out he played and it piqued my interest. I am pretty sure the first thing I said to him before even introducing myself was: “You play Quidditch right? I have two questions for you: Do you play with brooms? And how the hell does the Snitch work?” After covering the Canadian Cup for the Fulcrum I really wanted to try playing. So when Chris invited a bunch of Fulcrumites to come to a practice I was all over that.

Michelle, pictured back in the grey hoodie, questions why the poaching skills of Quiddad Chris (seen here hiding behind a bale of hay) worked to get her on the team.

Quiddad Chris is a ruthless player-poacher. What position do you play?

I am a Chaser. But I think it would be cool to try some other positions. (Ed: Ahem.)

The Chasers keep Michelle well protected against the Beater Coven, who have a nasty habit of snagging all the cool players with the siren song of constant Mean Girls quotes. With a nickname like Sniper, how could we not want her as a coven member? Where did your nickname come from?

I wasn’t there when Adam and Clare came up with this but this how it was explained to me: Clare and Adam were talking about how annoying people who check their phones at the movie theater are (Ed: really annoying) because you can see their screens flash and how they wish that someone could stand at the top of the theater and snipe anyone checking their phones. I guess they thought I was the best person for the job. (Apparently I have good aim or something…)

Michelle is being modest, she has the aim of Robin Hood and Katniss Everdeen combined. She scored some pretty spectacular goals in her first tournament! What was the best moment of your quidditch career?

Scoring my first “real” goal in Buffalo. Oh, actually, being invited to play in Buffalo! I was really happy I made the roster, since I had only been playing for a couple weeks. It also helped me get to know my teammates better. And it was really cool to feel like part of the team.

Tearing up the field in her very first competition game as a uOttawa Quidkid!

And the worst?

I don’t think I’ve had any bad quiddicdotes. (Ed: QUIDDICDOTES! Quidictionarying that!) Except for maybe the headshots. I remember one in particular by a certain fatherly figure in the middle of winter… that stung a bit

Bludging at the hand of your quiddad carries both a physical and emotional sting. It really fuels the ol’ daddy issues. But, as anyone who has played against uOttawa can probably attest, our beaters do love their headshots!

Michelle, what’s your jersey number? Is there any significance to it?

I usually choose either 4 or 5, because one of those papers that analyze you based on your name told me those were my lucky numbers. But those were both taken, so I decided to go with 22: the age at which I discovered this wonderful sport! (The Muggle version, that is.)

I’ll pause for a moment so readers can sigh deeply and reminisce on their own Quidditch discoveries… How do you explain Quidditch to those in your life who were previously unaware of it?

“It’s really cooooooooool. No really, I swear.” Actually, if a quiddicdote is permitted… My parents came to watch us at Strathcona last month and although my dad has read almost all the books and seen almost all the movies he would always poke fun at me for playing Quidditch. But after the tournament my mom told me he wouldn’t shut up about it, and that he said he wished he was 20 years younger so he could play too.

Glamour shot of the jersey

Which Hogwarts house are you?

I should probably do the test one more time to be sure, but I am a Ravenclaw.

Looks like we’ve got another House Hipster on our hands. Chris is such a terrible influence. If you had a magical creature as a pet, what would it be and what would you name it?

A hippogriff named… I don’t know…Spot? Wait, no. Andy.

What would your patronus be?

My patronus would be a peregrine falcon. It’s my favourite animal.

She’s flying through your windows, snatching your quaffle up…

I distinctly remember a player on the team being petrified of birds. Use that to your advantage. Speaking of, if you encountered a Boggart, what would it be and what would your ‘riddikulus’ thought be?

A bee. I hate bees. And my thought would be: “Bread and butter, bread and butter, bread and butter…”

If you could choose a Harry Potter character to be your significant other, who would it be and what would your ideal date with them consist of?

I would date Harry and we would play Quidditch.

Michelle Ferguson joins the elite ranks of uOttawa Quidditch Players who Wouldn’t Date a Weasley. Which Harry Potter character are you most similar to?

I am a Gemini so I have two personalities… at least that is my excuse to not narrow it down to just one character. I believe I am a mix between Ginny and Hermione. I am very quiet with people I don’t know, but I can also be pretty bossy. Someone also told me I’m bright!

Despite being one of the few members of the team who wouldn’t date a Weasley twin, Michelle is no stranger to having two men chase after her.

What would a bright girl such as yourself major in at Hogwarts?

I would like to believe I would be good at Flying or Care of Magical Creatures.

Where would you spend the majority of your time if you lived at Hogwarts?

I would probably spend an equal time between Hagrid’s hut, the Gryffindor common room (even though I am a Ravenclaw) and the Quidditch pitch.

While you’re on the pitch you could visit Reilly’s Chezbrelephaffe common room! Now, since you’re one of the team’s Real Live Grown-Ups™, what are you most going to miss about Quidditch next year?

Well I’m really hoping I get to still play next year, if you’ll still have me. I know I’ll be old and decrepit after graduation, but I promise to pass an eye test to make sure my aim is still top notch!

Well, we were just going to send you out on the ice floe with Claremom, but we’ll see… What is your greatest aspiration for the team?

I want us to be able to fly! I have so many theories on how this could work… It would probably be a death trap but you know.. how awesome would that be!?

Finally, what is the biggest similarity between Quidditch and working for the Fulcrum?

Haha – the people are amazing and a little nerdy (in a good way). It took me until my fourth year at university to finally find a group where I really fit in and this year I found a second. So um.. thanks for what was probably my best year of university!

Awwwwhhhhhhhh… 🙂


Well, folks, this ends this season’s Quidkid of the Week feature, but keep a weather eye on the internet horizon over the summer! We’ll be talking to this year’s ickle firsties about how Quidditch impacted their first year of university at uOttawa. Be sure to check it out if you or someone you know is entering first year (we’re looking at you, WEQL Griffins…). 

No regrets…
…just quove.

Quidkids of the Week: the Twins, Tickles & Shoulders

5 Apr

We all know at least one: those couples that merit a place among history’s greatest relationships. Romeo and Mercutio, Batman and Robin, Hamlet and Rozencrantz and Guildenstern, Harry and Ron, the list goes on.

That’s right, it’s guy love.

This week I sat down with uOttawa Quidditch’s most prolific bromance, Chaser/Keeper/Snitch Reilly “Tickles” Ragot and Chaser/Seeker/Snitch Adam “Shoulders” Robillard. When the boys aren’t ruining my life through their constant 9gag posts and arsenal of antics, they’re bro-ing out hardcore. However, they took some time from their busy schedule of tomfoolery to talk with the Quibbler about Ginny, great broments, and guyquove the likes of which you’re never seen. Brooms up!

Despite being nigh inseparable, this is one of very few pictures of the twins together.

Well, gentlemen, let’s start with your programs and years.

R: I’m in my second year of Human Kinetics. Currently I’m in the sciencey half of it with Rebeccamom but I’ll be switching to the arts side next year.

A: I’m in first year theatre and psychology with a minor in provocative posing.

And what brought the two of you to Quidditch?

R: I was walking through the UCU one Clubs Day when I felt unexplainably drawn to a table full of really good-looking people. Entranced by their beauty, my hand moved as if possessed to sign the list of interested players. Lo and behold, it was the Quidditch team.

A: Same as Reilly, but a little less magical. …I may have been trying to impress a girl I was hanging out with.

This is a big moment, folks. Adam rarely admits to being the pursuer instead of the pursued. Speaking of chasing, what positions do you play?

R: A little bit of everything. Most of the time I’m a Chaser, but I’m being trained up as the new Keeper in case our plans to sabotage Colin’s graduation don’t pan out. I also Snitch occasionally when I’m feeling troublesome.

A: I play everything but Beater and Keeper because the black headband gets lost in my luscious dark hair and the green clashes with my beautiful blue eyes.

You two were among the first to adopt Quidditch nicknames. Tell us about them.

R: I was torn between Tickles and Tackles (I’m really ticklish and I like tackling). I left it up to the team to decide (Ed: what’s a vowel among friends?) and took Claremom’s advice, and now the entire Carleton team has abandoned my real name.

A: I’m originally a hockey player so my first instinct is to drop my shoulder and run through opponents. Our first game against Carleton I was shouldering people like it was my job: hence, “Shoulders.” Then, at the Canadian Cup, my parents saw me shoulder an opponent who looked about 12 years old. Needless to say, mom was not proud of the first game she saw.

A rather incriminating pair of pictures for our team’s reputation, but the men share a refusal to pick on someone their own size.

In Tickles’ defence, it should be noted that there are, in fact, no pictures of an actual legal tackle from the Canadian Cup. It was that kind of weekend.

And what moment of your Quidditch career would you say is your proudest?

R: Seeing my name on the competitive roster after only managing to attend one tryout.

A: At Ives Pond, I was playing seeker and caught the snitch to tie the game and send it into overtime, and then I managed a three-second snitch snatch in overtime for the win. But it was no big deal.

And the worst?

R: I am actually one of the few players on our team to avoid quinjuring myself, so I really haven’t had many bad moments. A car nearly hit me on my way over to do this interview, so that I guess.

A: I got a red card at WCV, the only one the team has ever gotten. Then the announcers made fun of me, which almost made me get a second one.

Easy there, Shoulders. What houses are you boys in?

R: Hufflepuff!

A: I don’t know… not a Hufflepuff.

What is your jersey number? Is there any significance to it?

A: Mine is 93. I (along with most of the team) wanted 13 but it was taken. Frankie took 26 (twice 13 and my birthday). So, in keeping with birth numbers, I chose the year I was born.

R: 16. I wanted 4 or 13 but they were taken. I chose 16 because it’s the same as Darcy Tucker from the Toronto Maple Leafs (Ed: for our American readers, that’s a hockey team. “Hockey” is like frozen Quidditch) and he’s a badass.

Reilly’s response to the oft-used phrase “Reilly, use your nice words.”

Now let’s get to the topic the reader(s) are here for: Is there a specific moment that made you two realize your relationship was truly guy quove (quove between two guys)?

R: Well, Adam has this husband. Sometimes I sleep with it. Adam was upset when he found out, but I explained that it was really a ploy to get to him. He reciprocated the feelings and it’s been Guy Quove ever since!

A: Definitely the Terrible Shreddie Massacre of 2011 the night before WCV. It was the stuff of legends. GuyQuove flourishes on the frontlines of a battle like that.

Use three words not usually attributed to relationships to describe your bromance.

R: Pokemon, pillow, posing.

A: Pillow, Pokemon, rubber balls. Can I hyphenate rubber-balls? Well, I just did.

Let the record show that the boys were interviewed separately, didn’t see one another’s answers, and still managed 2/3 identical answers. This kind of twin-telepathy is why Adam and Reilly are often referred to as the team’s Fred and George. Which is which?

R: We’ve refused to decide. Neither of us wants to die or lose an ear.

A: I’m George. I am too beautiful to be the one who gets killed.

Pouty quidkid got a boo-boo! Claremom gave him cookies for being brave.

Now, Adam was named one of Quinksy’s Sexiest Quidkids. Adam, how did this feel? Reilly, as Adam’s identical twin, do you also feel this was a personal victory?
R: Yes, I do. Being identical, there’s no way one of us can be better looking than the other. Now, we could have different personalities that make us appealing to other people, but it’s ‘sexiest quidkid’, not ‘most appealing quidkid’. Although I do give him credit. He just had to be in the spotlight, and he made sure of that.
A: It really didn’t come as much of a surprise. It couldn’t be considered a sexy list if I wasn’t on it.

Adam is always so selfless. Each of you, describe a memorable moment of your friendship using as much innuendo as possible. The other must then guess what moment you’re referring to.

R: Sitting there, watching you posing on my couch with it in your hands. You told me you were gonna catch ‘em all and I said, “Yes you are, and nobody is going to stop you. You’re the best there ever was.”

A: Would that be me playing Pokemon in your apartment?

R: Uhh… sure. That’s exactly what I meant.

A: Not here, Reilly. Okay: we were running around, caressing our balls in public and trying to hit someone in the face with them. We were knocking on the door so hard, we just really needed to get in there and show off our lovely balls.

R: Bludger wars.

A: Correct.

Adam and Reilly like to get dirty together.

Well, now that we all lived through the obvious sexual tension between you two, name something of equal or greater Awkward-Value to a hug from Voldemort.

R: Anyone walking in on me with Adam’s husband.

A: Probably if my mother was reading the innuendo question right beside me.

If you could create a 5th Hogwarts house, what would its name, mascot, common room location and key traits be?

R: The house would be Chezbrelephuff, the mascot the Chezebrelephaffe.  Its key traits would be badassery, excellent finding skills (though not better than Hufflepuffs’ skills), a Disney-level imagination, and general confusion about your own identity. The common room would be underneath the Quidditch pitch and connected to the castle through an elaborate tunnel system.

Reilly’s house mascot.

A: The house would be Ginyufrog, the mascot obviously a frog. They would all be excellent posers, have a large ego and really long legs, and they’d be naturally good at everything. The common room would be in the lake on a giant Lilly pad.

For those well versed in Adam’s tendency to strike a pose at every possible moment, let the record show that he answered the entire last question lying down and kicking his leg frog/jazzercise-style. 

Adam strikes one of the many poses in his arsenal.

What would your best subject/major be at Hogwarts?

R: Quidditch and Defense Against the Dark Arts

A: Charms because I’m so gosh darn charming.

Hah. Tegan made that joke first. Wild Boggart appears! What would it look like and what would be your ‘ridikkulus’ thought to get rid of it?

R: It would be a small dog, and I would turn it into a hipster.

A: It would be me, but I wouldn’t be pretty. I would pull a Wilde’s Dorian Grey and it would turn into a portrait of me that got old while I remained young and beautiful forever.

Adam, you know he essentially gave up his soul, right…? Speaking of which, if you were going to hide bits of your soul, what would you use as a horcrux?

R: My motivation to do homework (I can never find it), my quove for Adam (blatantly obvious but indestructible), and that one crayon you need but can never find.

You mean the grey one?

R: Color blindness jokes. Hilarious.

A: I would use a Nokia phone, any item belonging to brother (those get lost forever), and my old iPod Nano which has somehow survived after all these years.

If you could choose a Harry Potter character to be your significant other, who would it be and what would your ideal date with them consist of?

R: Ginny. Quidditch would be involved, and then we’d get a butterbeer at Rosemerta’s and just badass around a bit. If Adam and I could decide who was Fred and who was George, I’d date him.

A: Ginny obviously. Although as a bro and a gentleman if Reilly won her love I would graciously not get in his way. However, if we did go on a date we would fly somewhere badass like the top of a mountain and we’d have a badass, delightful picnic. And pose.

Finally, who or what would you most like to see playing Quidditch? (in a world where anyone and anything could)

R: I would have an entire team of Quidditch-playing dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs are awesome, if you didn’t know. The chasers would be: a Deinonychus,  a bird-like dinosaur with rather pronounced arms capable of holding the quaffle, which is a rather important for a chaser; a Parasaurolophus, which also has good arms; and a T-rex, despite its tiny arms. (Ed: intimidation purposes, we’re guessing.) The beaters would be: an Anklyosaurus and a Stegosaurus. The Keeper would be Stompz the Tricertops, and a Velociraptor would be the seeker.

Looks like Reilly lost a Seeker!

A: Muppets v. Sesame Street.


Keeper: Sweetums

Chasers: Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Sam the Eagle (would would also be the coach)

Beaters: Miss Piggy, Animal

Seeker: Gonzo


Keeper: Big Bird

Chasers: Cookie Monster, Grover, The Count

Beaters: Ernie and Bert

Seeker: Elmo

Snitches: Rizzo the Rat, Snuffleupagus

Anouncers: Swedish Chef and Oscar the Grouch. The chef because he won’t say anything relevant and Oscar because he’ll just be grouchy and not report the game.

Reilly’s response to the oft-used phrase “Reilly, use your nice words”.

Adam’s signature Puppydog Head Tilt

This concludes our interview with uOttawa Quidditch’s most notable bros. 

Remember, you can tweet us all week with additional questions for the dynamic duo! We’re @uo_quidditch, Shoulders is @awillrobillard, and Tickles is @Ragsjr92.

Ottawa Quidditch Tournament

3 Apr

So a few weekends ago, RIT Quidditch came up to visit us in Ottawa! This visit was largely due to a combination of befriending them on twitter (#quamour) and having a really great game with them at the Ives Pond Invitational, and also because all the cool kids secretly want an excuse to come to Canada.

We set up an afternoon of games in Strathcona Park – the weather didn’t favour us (it SNOWED after a week of +25 Celcius temperatures), but we still had all kinds of fun.

I believe this was when Queen Mollywobbles introduced herself as “Clare Betterpe.” #toobigforherbritches

First up was RIT vs uOttawa – this game was AN HOUR LONG. Well, okay, like 55 minutes, BUT STILL. INSANITY. The teams were quite evenly matched, and ultimately it was the Snitch Snatch that lasted forever: RIT’s Seeker was on the defensive because they were below the point differential, and Bludger Superiority was going back and forth so uOttawa couldn’t assign a Beater to their Seeker to give theirs an edge. Ultimately, uOttawa won 180-130 (RIT with the Snitch Snatch, I believe).

A picture from the RIT vs Carleton game, which I added mainly for the amusing Jeff/Tyson height differential.

…And right into the next game, uOttawa vs Carleton! No rest for the wicked.

uOttawa won 110-60 (I think – Tegan has the score binder, so this is subject to change) – and we were EXTREMELY proud of this, because “beat Carleton” has been on our list basically since we started our team and they taught us everything we know (it’s kind of like finally beating your older brother at checkers). We’ve only ever beaten them in one scrimmage before (which doesn’t really count, as it was our comp team vs their rec team), so this was the first time we’ve ever legitimately won a game against them: they’re an incredible team, and the’ve got a lot of talented players and a lot more experience and strategy over us, so playing against them is always challenging. SELF-GROWTH FEELS SO GOOD, Y’ALL.

We love Kera.

And then we all trekked off to a giant group dinner in the basement of the Royal Oak pub up the road – laughter and fun times!

RIT was staying in a variety of houses – Colin’s house went out for Shawarma Poutine (an Ottawa specialty… gotta love multiculturalism), Tegan’s house watched Buffy, Rebeccamom’s house went to sleep (probably a smart idea), and Claremom’s house played tipsy Apples to Apples (draw your own conclusions about which house was the coolest). It was so amazing to get to know another team so much better and have them come so far just to play Quidditch and hang out with us. #QUAMOUUUUUR