Archive | December, 2011

How The Grinch Abandoned Snitchmas

19 Dec

Every classic Christmas poem needs a Quidditch re-telling! Beater Erin McCrady wrote this for team Dad and co-coach Chris. It was illustrated by beater Cynthia Loutfi and other co-coach Rebecca Alley. It involves a few inside jokes, but laughs are more or less guaranteed for anyone who decides to read it.

Merry Snitchmas from all of us quidkids at UO!

How The Grinch Abandoned Snitchmas

Every Quidkid at UO liked Snitchmas a lot
But the Grinch who had no time for Snitchmas DID NOT.
The Grinch just left Snitchmas, the whole Snitchmas season.
Now please don’t ask why, no one knows quite the reason.

It could be his schedule was just too tight,
That his job made him skip it to stay home and write
But I think the most likely reason, you see,
Is the Grinch didn’t love his quidkid family.

But whatever the reason, his school or his job,
He just kept abandoning, making us sob.
Sitting down in his home with a work-worky focus
(Or just watching Mulan, Chris, your work is SO bogus).

For he knew as he sat down to work with a smile
All the quidkids were sleeping in their Snitchmas pile.

“And they’re cuddling, too,” said the Grinch with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Snitchmas. It’s practically here!”
Then he growled with his Grinch-fingers nervously drumming.
“They’re having a party. They expect that I’m coming!

And tomorrow, he knew, all the UO quid players
Would show up with big smiles thinking daddy’d be there!
And they’d think he cared! Oh, he cared, cared, cared, CARED!
That’s just what we could not have: the care, care, care, care.

Then the quidkids of UO would sit down and brunch.
And they’d brunch! And they’d brunch!
And they’d BRUNCH! BRUNCH! BRUNCH! BRUNCH!
They’d brunch on some breakfast foods! Brunch on some lunch!
Just the thought made his face do a frown-ish like scrunch.

And THEN
They’d do something he liked least of all.
Every quidkid at UO, the tall and the small,
Would stop all their chasing, their seeking and beating,
They’d stand, phones in hand, and they’d all being TWEETING.
And they’d tweet! And they’d tweet!
And they’d TWEET! TWEET! TWEET! TWEET!

And the more the Grinch thought of this whole Snitchmas tweet,
The more he decided he had to retreat.
“Why, I’ve never shown up and I just won’t start now.
I must find a way of not coming… but how?”

Then he got an idea
An AWFUL idea
The Grinch got a wonderful, AWFUL idea!

“I know just what to do!” he said, no longer vexed,
And he sent a quick message by way of phone-text.
Then he chuckled and laughed, “what a mean, grinchy plot!
I told them I’m coming when really I’m not!”

“Well I might just stop by when I’m done all my work,
But I won’t follow dress code, ‘cause I’m just a jerk.
I’ll just wear an outfit that’s classy and fancy
And I just won’t be tacky or jolly or dancy”

“All I need is an excuse”
The Grinch looked around
But he had been efficient and none could be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch?
No! The Grinch simply said
“If I can’t find an excuse, I’ll MAKE one instead”
So he called up a quidkid and said something witty
Like “Oh, I’ll be there soon, I just need to get pretty”.

THEN
He took a quick pic of his sad facial hair
And he sent it with promises he’d soon be there.

HOURS LATER he left and he started on out
To the place where the kids were festive-ing about
But just as he arrived, a thought made him stall
“Wait a minute,” he thought, “I don’t love them at all!
Why am I showing up to act like a good father?”
And he turned around, thinking he’d no longer bother.Then he tightened his bowtie and started to trudge
His way back through the snow. Then he felt a hard bludge!
He turned around fast, and he saw a quid-child
Whose abandonment issues were now running wild.
 
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny quid-daughter
Who had sat on the doorstep to wait for her father.
She stared at the Grinch and said “Daddy… but why?
Why are you leaving our party, dad? Why?!”But you know, that old Grinch was so sly and so quick
That he thought up a lie and he thought it up quick
“Why my sweet little tot” The absentee dad scammed,
“I have to go home and prep for an exam!
So I’m heading on back to Morisset, my dear.
I’ll study up there, and then I’ll come back here.”
And his fib fooled the child! Her abandon-tears dried
And he gave her the bludger and sent her inside.
When the small beater child went inside with her ball,
The Grinch left with no plans to return after all!
When he got home, he settled down to watch Mulan
Singing “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”, his favourite song.
“Those silly quidkids,” he was Grinch-ish-ly humming,
“They’re finding out now I’m not actually coming!
Once they realize, I know just what they’ll do.
Their mouths will hang open; they’ll all sob boo-hoo
And I’ll reinforce all of their daddy issues!”
Those were statuses that he thought he HAD to see
So he paused Mulan and checked his Facebook with glee.
And he checked on his news. Some quid-statuses showed.
They started in low. Then they started to grow…
But the statuses weren’t sad!
Why, they sounded quite merry!
It couldn’t be so!
But they were merry! VERY!Or at least so he thought…He scrunched up his eyes,
The lack of space between words was quite a surprise.
Every quidkid at UO, the tall and the small
Was tweeting! Without any spaces at all!
He hadn’t circumvented Snitchmas. It came!
He might not have showed up, but it came all the same.
Now the Grinch ran outside in the cold winter’s snow
And stood there all puzzled. “How could it be so?
I thought I had lost it without any snags,
But it managed to find me! Damn Snitchmas hashtags!”
And he puzzled for hours ‘til his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.
“Maybe Snitchmas is something I just can’t ignore,
Maybe Snitchmas… perhaps… means a little bit more”
And what happened then…?
Well, at UO they say
That the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!
He stepped up and became a supportive Quid-dad
And rushed to his family all tackily clad!
He brunched and he tweeted! He laughed and he smiled!
And he…
He himself…
THE GRINCH!
DAD cuddle-piled!

Operation Snow Angel: uOttawa Quidditch goes to the Quidditch World Cup

12 Dec

This post is adapted from one originally written and posted here by Clare Hutchinson. Go there to read the full write-up.

We’re back from New York! On November 11th, we bussed down with our friends Carleton University Quidditch to Randall’s Island in New York City to compete in the fifth annual Quidditch World Cup. Along with stops for American junk food (did you know there are S’more Goldfish? That’s a thing that exists in the world) and games of Who Am I?, we were treated to Coach Chris’ rendition of “Love Story.” (Yes, that “Love Story.”)

We met Texas Christian University (TCU) and Virginia Tech over breakfast and immediately started a camaraderie (in our defense, they are very sexy teams) and broke out the obnoxious patriotism. We registered and swept into the Athletes’ Village, where all the Canadian teams clumped together near the top at “The North Pole.” After  figuring out how to put up the tent (“Team-Building Exercise,” anyone?), we found our spot for the opening ceremonies in front of Penn State, who we befriended over cheers – yay for alphabet bonding! A great start to a great weekend full of making friends and meeting other Quidditch teams from around the world.

Part of the Opening Parade

Our first game was against Florida, the eventual runners-up of the tournament. We lost, although our (thoroughly excellent) Seeker had some BEAUTIFUL deflection tactics against Florida’s Seeker and managed to delay the Snitch Snatch (against a bullfighting Snitch with a pink fleece) while we endeavoured to catch up. We came back for our game against the Delaware Valley Dragons (who had FABULOUS hair) and were winning handily until the Snitch Snatch, which still put us ahead 70-60. Our last game of the day was against ASU, a fast, tough game that sent one of our players to the hospital for a patch-up after he heroically took a broom to the eye that required some cleaning and stitching from the wonderful folks at Bellevue Hospital (who were freaked out by his red face paint until they realized it wasn’t all blood). He now has a friendship scar to match a teammate’s wound from the Canadian Cup.

That’s right: some teams get friendship bracelets. uOttawa Quidditch gets friendship scars.

We were back to the field at an early hour the next day, so we grabbed Carleton and TCU and started a scrimmage – Team Maple Frogs (which is what you get when you mix Canada with TCU’s ‘Horned Frogs’) vs Team Better Than You – that began as a legitimate game of Quidditch, but then got 3 extra bludgers and another quaffle thrown in. Our Team Mama may or may not have been swinging a broom like a baseball bat and yelling at Adam to “go long” when the Commissioner came up behind her.

The game then morphed into a giant game of Ninja and then a giant game of Octopus as we pulled bystanders from UMich and a bright orange team into the game. We were all wailing with laughter the entire time; it was completely ridiculous and such an experience of sheer joy.

Who are those monkeys? ...Oh wait.

Our last game of pool play was against SUNY Geneseo. This gal thinks we could perhaps have won had we been a bit more aggressive, but it was a terrific and incredibly fun game nonetheless. We finished in high spirits, Keeper Colin riling us by screaming “We leave the way we came! OttawaU is hot to go!”

We became known for our snare drum and enthusiasm: before every game, we would line up in formation in the Athletes’ Village and march chanting out to each of our games accompanied by the drum (…on one memorable occasion disrupting what looked like an important interview. Whoops). One of our goals was to become known as “Those Dancing Canadians,” and we’re proud to say it was accomplished.

Once our games were over, we did the same for Carleton and the other Canadian teams. We also had a chant and war dance that we performed before every game:

 After we were eliminated from pool play, we played a friendly scrimmage with McGill to help them warm up for playoffs and then joined in a giant Canada vs US dodgeball game (which, appropriately, ended in a stalemate).

Two of our players had been adopted by the Swarthmore College team, which didn’t have enough people to play. That sums up a lot of what was amazing at the World Cup: competition was fierce, and everyone played fast and hard, but at the end of the day we were all there together to be ridiculous, make friends, and squeeze the most fun out of every second. People are there because they love Quidditch and are completely willing to be thrown into a giant field and find their place in it, dancing the whole time.

Meaghan, one of Swarthmore's uOttawa players

After McGill lost to Florida, we had another big scrimmage with them and Carleton on the dark dusty pitch until Florida showed up to play another team and then scarfed down more pizza, rounded up the other Canadian teams, formed one last giant formation, and marched across the almost-empty pitches to Icahn Stadium for the final. We launched into ‘O Canada’ as we came up behind the ticket line, creating quite the spectacle for those waiting outside. When you can’t go for the championship, you might as well go for dramatic flair 😉

Unfortunately we had to leave to catch our bus before the final game was over, but we all craned our necks to see in as the bus drove over the stadium (“Did it go in??” “No, no goal!”), and the team made our President read the scores live from twitter.

All in all, it was a glorious weekend. It’s incredible to think that most of these people who are so close now didn’t know each other 3 months ago. The team grew and learned more about Quidditch and themselves, and did uOttawa very proud indeed. Given that we’re such a young team, we’re all very excited for our growth and all the opportunities we’re going to have.

Seeker Kera

The World Cup was a fantastic combination of enthusiastic geekery and intense athletic competition. The camaraderie and good spirit among all players was heartfelt, palpable, and incredibly warm. So much work went into making this the success that it was – there were hiccups and problems, but overall it was just an astronomical success, a beautiful piece of magic. We were honoured to be a part of it.

COMMENTATOR: Randall’s Island was, as we all know, constructed by magicians late last night…

Why we want you to join our team

12 Dec

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably heard about uOttawa Quidditch and are curious about who we are and what we’re all about.

We are a sports team. An awesome sports team.

uOttawa Quidditch at the World Cup

Though our team has only been playing competitively together since September, uOttawa Quidditch has already participated in two major tournaments. The first was the Canadian Cup at Carleton University in October.

uOttawa Quidditch in the parade onto the field at the Canadian Cup.

This tournament was a huge deal. It was the first time a major Quidditch tournament was ever held in Canada. Quidditch is a young sport and this was the first time that a large amount of Canadian teams were able to get together to compete.

Chris (stunningly attractive as always) coaches during a team huddle.

Our team placed third in the tournament behind Carleton and McGill, which was a great accomplishment for such a young team. We had an incredible time, learned a lot, and came away with bright smiles and an impressive Snitch Snatch record (4/5).

uOttawa Quidditch celebrates a win at the Canadian Cup.

We also played in the 2011 Quidditch World Cup in New York City. This huge affair involved

facepaint,

Adam - America's Next Top Model - having his face painted.

tweeting,

#twitwitchcaughtintheact

making friends,

9 3/4 x2

making more friends,

Steven and Gabe train a young Quidditch player. The force is strong with this one.

dancing,

more dancing,

fierceness,

Jonathon performs uOttawa's haka.

even more fierceness,

Dancemaster Adam leads uOttawa's war dance.

#toomuchfierce,

Erin's #gameface.

pictures with Harry Potter,

Meaghan poses with Harry.

pictures with the Ford Anglia,

uOttawa Quidditch and the Ford Anglia.

pictures with the Sorting Hat and Scarf of Sexual Preference,

Dan and Tegan are sorted by the Sorting Hat and the Scarf of Sexual Preference.

and of course, athletics:

Colin takes on a rival beater.

Reilly and Nina block a Florida chaser

Reilly and Nina block a Florida chaser.

Colin charges up the field, striking fear into Florida's collective heart.

Mid-air Kidditch collision.

We don’t just play Quidditch – we’re an active group on campus. You can see us having snowball fights on Tabaret Lawn or Snitch Chases across campus. Recently, we participated in (and won) SAFA’s blanket fort competition.

It's better than Gryffindor tower.

Brilliant fort engineers

We also have our own uOttawa Quidditch flavoured events, like cuddle piles

#toomuchlove

and Snitch Club Nights.

So... much... yellow.

We’ve got more planned for the coming semester – a tournament in Buffalo, t-shirt sales, the formation of two Canadian/Northeastern US Quidditch Conferences, joint practices with Carleton, Quidditch shenanigans on Parliament Hill, and – well, the list goes on and the awesome never stops.

If you’re looking for a way to stay active on campus, if you want to try a new sport, if you like Harry Potter, if you give good hugs, if you run fast and score faster, if you have nothing to do on Sundays, if you miss playing basketball in high school, if you you want to do something you’ve never done before… we want you.

Join uOttawa Quidditch. Be awesome.

uOttawa Quidditch family portrait